Angaarey

With Sholay and Aag already used, I had to come up with a new title for my tribute to Ramu's Aag and what better than Angaarey. It goes well with the tone set by Sholay and carried forward by Aag. The characters might remind you of Sholay but all resemblances to characters from that film are purely coincidental. I have been solely inspired by RGV in coming up with this script.

My apologies for the formatting issues with this post, I tried hard to get the HTML work fine but failed :(

Act I - Prequel: How it all began?

Gabbar (front), Thakur (back), Helen (Right) in their childhood

Two kids - Gabbar and Thakur who came from diverse backgrounds were the best of friends at one point in time. Gabbar, coming from an uneducated background, was not well cultured. Profanities came out from his mouth as if it were poetry - "Suwar ke bachchon..dhikkar hai"

Thakur's family was against this budding friendship between Gabbar and Thakur as Thakur had begun showing signs of hooliganism at home. One day while Helen, the small little daughter of Thakur’s neighbours, was dancing at a b'day party in the village, Thakur exclaimed with joy – “Naach chhamiya naach”. This was enough for the well cultured Thakur family. They decided with a heavy heart to send Chhote Thakur to the city to complete his education while Daaku Hari Singh sent Gabbar to Chambal to learn the tricks of the trade.

Fifteen years on, Thakur and Gabbar both returned to the village on Holi. Happiness knew no bounds for Gabbar. He had been waiting for this day all his life and used to ask all and sundry the same question over and over again while in Chambal - "Holi kab hai, kab hai holi?"

As fate would have it, both Thakur and Gabbar were returning to the village oblivious of the fact that they were on the same train - Thakur as the police inspector and Gabbar as a bandit. Keeping up his tradition, Gabbar was travelling without ticket and when asked by the TC to furnish the tickets, he unleashed a barrage of curses - "Kutte kameene tu ticket lega Gabbar se..bahut naainsaafi hai ye"

Thakur heard these noises and was stunned to see his friend up against law. He was in a fix. He had to either stand by his childhood friend or respond to the call of duty. He chose the latter and arrested Gabbar. Gabbar could not take this lying down as his pride was hurt when he was made to kneel down holding his ears while others sang praises for Thakur Sahab. Gabbar's gang attacked the train mid-way to save Gabbar from the clutches of law and also took Thakur as captive.

Gabbar: Thakur tu dosti ke naam pe kalank hai. Tuney aaj mujhe kisi ko munh dikhane layak nahi chhoda. Ab jab gaon se 50-50 kos door bachcha royega to maa kahegi ki beta so ja warna tujhe bhi Gabbar ki tareh kneel down holding your ears kara dungi
Thakur: Well, it was all your mistake

Gabbar: Dhikkar Hai! Inhi haathon se tuney mujhe hathkadi pehnaayi thee na, ab ye haath humko de de Thakur
Thakur: Nahi..

Gabbar: Ye haath humko de Thakur
Thakur: Nahi....iii..(faints and wakes up without hands)

Act II: Jai and Veeru

Signing the contract - "Tum mujhe Gabbar do, main tumhe paise dunga"

Jai and Veeru were two fugitives who were on the run. 30 years back when they were born, Ramesh Sippy's Sholay was released and their parents named them on the two popular screen characters Jai and Veeru. They enjoyed all the respect and love from their near and dear ones when by the twist of fate Ramu decided to remake the film Sholay. These poor fellows were banished from their town and were on the run ever since Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag released. When they came to know about Thakur and Gabbar in a distant village, they decided to go and help him fight this Gabbar's menace to redeem their pride.

Thakur needed the help of these two dullards to do his household chores. He hired them on the pretext of fighting Gabbar and used to make them feed his cattle and bring water from the well in the name of physical training. Jai fell in love with Thakur's widowed daughter-in-law Radha while Veeru found solace in the incessant blabbering of the Tanga wielding Basanti.

Act III - Bhaag Dhanno Bhaag
Gabbar eve-teasing: "Basanti aaj to main naha ke bhi aaya hoon. Please chalo na"

One afternoon Basanti and Dhanno were at the lake side on the outskirts of the village drinking water when Gabbar appeared with his men. Basanti, sensing that Gabbar was after her, pleaded with Dhanno to save her.

Basanti: Chal Dhanno..aaj fir se teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawaal hai
Dhanno: Aaj to faisla ho hi jaane de..tu roz roz gaon se itni door paani peene aati hi kyun hai? Acche ghar ki bahu betiaan aisa nahi karti. Ab to jo karega Gabbar karega

Gabbar: Utha lo chhamiya ko..Jalal Aaga aur Helen ki jageh isse aur Veeru se item number karwayenge
Kaalia: Sarkaar bahut bhaari hai..humne aapke yahan sirf namak khaya hai...thoda khaana khila dete to utha bhi leta.

Gabbar: Tum teen aur ladki ek..fir bhi nahi utha sakey? Dhikkar hai.

Act IV - Jai and Veeru at Gabbar's den


Jai and Veeru at the battleground

When the news of Basanti's kidnapping reached Veeru he was aghast. Hearing Gabbar’s invitation for a dance performance in the beehad, Veeru developed cold feet. Although Basanti was trained in classical dance, Veeru had two left feet. Performing in front of a demanding audience was going to be a daunting task. Jai came forward with a plan to wipe out Gabbar and his gang to soothe Veeru’s nerves. He asked him to take this performance as one of those Nach Baliye couple dance performances.

Veeru finally relented and trusting Jai’s promise accepted Gabbar's invitation. As the entire ravine reverberated with the nasal twang of RDB (I hope Asha Bhonsle's not reading!), Jai managed to steal a whole lot of ammunition from Gabbar's armoury. Meanwhile Thakur Sahab went shopping for a fresh pair of spiky shoes.

Act V - The Fight The last laugh!

A tussle ensued at the break of dawn when all the dacoits were busy attending their respective calls from the nature. Sambha was the first one to die as he was the easiest to spot sitting at the top of the hill.

Jai: Veeru tu basanti ko leke ja..bak bak karke bahut paka rahi hai
Veeru: Nahi Jai main Basanti ko chhod dunga par tujhe nahi

Jai: What the f*** man, this is not 'Brokeback mountain'. Take her away and let me get some quality screen space alone!
Veeru: Jai..jab tu angrezi bolta hai na..meri kuch samajh mein nahi aata. Mujhe darr hai ki kahin Gabbar Basanti ko pata na le is liye main usse leke yahan se chala jaata hoon.

Jai fights hard but is eventually killed by the ruthless Gabbar. Veeru comes back to find his friend lying in a pool of blood.

Veeru: Imli ka boota beri ka ped..
Jai (dying): Ye wrong song hai

Veeru: Chaahunga main tujhe..
Jai: Mere paas waqt bahut kam hai..antakshari khelna band kar aur ye dosti gaa (dies)

Veeru: Nahi Jai…Gabbar main tera khoon pi jaaunga..main aa raha hoon Gabbar

Thakur: Ruk jao Veeru
Veeru: Nahi Thakur Sahab, usne mere dost ko maara hai

Thakur: Can't you understand simple logic? It was I who killed Gabbar in the original. We have to repeat the formula dickhead.
Veeru: Angrezi..fir wahi angrezi. Ye cross-over hinglish filmon ne mera market down kar diya hai?

Act VI - The Climax

Hoardings on display in Ramgarh. Thakur had launched an extensive campaign to catch Gabbar

Literally dressed to kill (with his spiky footwear), Thakur Sahab left for Gabbar's den after pacifying Veeru. Gabbar was busy packing his bags to run away but the super acrobatic Thakur Sahab displayed some unbelievable stunts straight from those Chinese Martial Art Films and beat the hell out of Gabbar. Ramgarh heaved a sigh of relief and Gabbar lost it again!