Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Domestic Violence Redefined

If you were wary of marriage, there is more reason to be. The very pro-women Government of India which doesn't even rake up the issues like Women's reservation bill to empower women by blaming it on lack of consensus amongst political parties is now ready to dish out the domestic violence bill. If you are a Raj Kapoor type man with an Anari bent of mind who is about to be married, has been divorced or has been in any sort of relation even a decade back with a ruthless woman, you are in for tough times ahead bro!

The new law has come into force from the 26th of October. Last night I saw this interview in which a very wary Karan Thapar, playing an advocate, pleaded the case of men (or the Devils in the eyes of our Minister Mrs Renuka Chaudhary). Read the whole transcript at:

Here are a few excerpts from the whole interview:

Karan Thapar:But what your Act has done is to take trivial issues - that could happen quite innocently, inadvertently and turn them into offences and crimes.

Renuka Chowdhury: I don’t agree with you. We are saying, we are facilitating and setting up a legal framework where by we expect to…

Karan Thapar:A very bad legal framework, insufficient legal framework and an imprecise one.
Renuka Chowdhury: Please listen to me. Can I be allowed to talk or otherwise this is deemed as domestic violence, this is professional violence.

Karan Thapar: That’s the danger; you are proving my point.

Renuka Chowdhury:Absolutely.

Karan Thapar:A mere interruption becomes domestic violence.

It doesn't end there..

Karan Thapar: The Centre for Social Research with regard to the anti-dowry law did a study after the Supreme Court judgment came out in August of 2005 and it concluded that of every 100 cases brought under the anti-dowry law, 98 per cent were false. Only two were correct. It’s not a minute percentage; the level of abuse that this could incur is phenomenally high.

Renuka Chowdhury:It’s okay.

Karan Thapar: It’s okay? It’s acceptable?

..and won't you like to hear what the Minister opines about 50% of surviving population in India?

Renuka Chowdhury: There is always need for corrections and amendments in any law as we progress as a society develops and the needs arise. But for one hypothetically - before I reach the bridge and cross it - if you want me to make amendments, I won’t.

Karan Thapar: In other words, let men suffer first, then I will correct the wrong I have done.

Renuka Chowdhury: It is not such a bad idea, except that I have such pity for men.

All said and done, the point is how this bill is going to empower women when most of the clauses stated in the law obviously seem redundant and already taken care of in the constitution. Till sanctity prevails upon these 'hungry for attention' politicians, try not to upset your girl friends and wives by speaking anything silly.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Dhoom 2: Preview

The losers are back. They lost to the suave robber John Abraham last time and now they would be losing to Hrithik who by strange coincidence is another loser averaging 5 flops per hit film. But then this is not real life so it really doesn't matter.

After John jumps to death in Dhoom 1 and Esha Deol once again has weight problems, producer Aditya Chopra decides to replace these two with Hrithik and Bipasha. The business acumen of Adi Chopra came to the fore while making this decision. All the training that Hrithik underwent for the supposed sci-fi Krrish (if you didn't know, the film was earlier titled Krishi Darshan but Doordarshan did not part with this name) came to good use in Dhoom 2 and that too at the cost of Hrithik's dad. Bipasha it is rumored gets to play the unborn child of John Abraham from Dhoom 1 who grows up to become a sizzling bombshell in just two years following some biological tests conducted on her by some scientists. Based on this angle in the film, Bipasha, in her pre-release interviews claims to have worked in the second authentic sci-fi in hindi film Industry after Krrish.

The story is set in Mumbai. Jai(Abhishek Bachchan) and Ali(I forget that guy's name..some Kapoor, wait or was it Sharma?) have spent all the loot money that they could manage to stash in their bags after John died in the first part. They are on the look out for more money but being a police constable and a motor mechanic doesn't help. Yes, Abhishek plays a police constable but since he never wears the uniform in the first part, you tend to overlook this fact. He feels that palying a constable would put Big B to shame. Having played an inspector all his life, he would not accept his son go any lower in the wrung. It is here that Hrithik makes an entry carrying a mandolin in his hand and singing in the Swiss Alps. Mind you, this is a Yash Chopra production so this has to be expected. By the time the song ends, you get to know the real intentions of this villain. As all the police force of Switzerland is busy taking care of the people who come in to watch Hrithik shake his legs, his accomplice in crime Aishwarya goes about robbing people on the highway. Who wouldn't fall for those green eyes?

They decide to shift to India after getting to know that Kabir(John Abraham) has passed away to fill in his shoes. Jai readies himself for yet another hot number with Rimi Sen but Aishwarya plays a spoilsport. She allows him to show screen chemistry with his on screen wife only if he allows her to shake her booty with Hrithik in another hot number that goes something like this - "Don't touch me, don't touch me". Abhishek decides against the song but Aishwarya secretly goes shooting for her song with Hrithik in Brazil. Meanwhile Ali(I think he was Uday Bhanu) cries for attention. Bipasha had no scenes uptil now so she is paired with him. Bipasha realises that she obviously has to go out of her way to stand out. So she gets into a bikini and runs around carrying a surfing plank. Ali(Prem Chopra...) too gets his moment to fame as he is asked to lip sync a number - "Itsy bitsy tiny winy..yellow polka dotted bikini" which doesn't suit his beefy build.

With interval fast approaching, the director decides on doing some chase scenes. Since Dhoom 1 had already shown the bike chases, here they chase in all other remaining modes of transport available on planet Earth. So you have Jai and Ali(Udit Narayan?) chase Hrithik in a plane, a train, a car and an auto but to no avail. He somehow manages to escape just at the nick of time. The superman powers of Krrish help him in his escapes. Aishwarya meanwhile giggles and remains busy applying anti wrinkle creams to do justice to her first scant-clothed babe kinda look.

As the end approaches, Jai and Ali(Usmaan..Khan..) again find themselves at the same place where it all began. They are on their Suzuki Hayabusa bikes and Hrithik stands at the edge of a cliff with a sleek looking Aishwarya in his arms.

Jai(Junior B): Chhod de usse, wo teri bhabhi hai.
Hrithik: Ye sahi hai, poori film mein ghumaaun main aur climax mein baazi tu maar le jaaye?

Jai: Usse wapas kar de aur khud ko kanoon ke hawale kar de. Kya pata tujhe Dhoom 3 mein fir se mauka mil jaaye.
Hrithik: Dhoom 3 mein SRK ko le liya hai. Ab main Aish ko nahi chhodunga.

Jai: Aish tum bhi to kuch bolo
Aish: Kya bolun? Dhoom 3 mein mujhe chance mila bhi to tab tak meri umar badi behen ya bhabhi ke role karne ki ho jayegi. Mera mar jaana hi accha hai.

Ali(He was the brother of Aditya Chopra..Uday Chopra!!): Bhaiya, apni film mein saare dialogues ye log bolenge to main kya karunga?
Aditya Chopra(thinking): I will have to make him dumb in the next part.
Bipasha: Hey, you cheats. I had heard that in a Yash Chopra production , you get to wear Chiffon sarees and get a paid Swiss trip. You all got me sun tanned on Rio beaches and then gave me bikinis instead of the sarees.

Amidst all this confusion, Hrithik whispers in Aishwarya's ears - "The game's not over yet!" And then they jump from the cliff in a dancing pose picked straight from some Shiamak Davar performance.

The last shot of the film is a masterstroke. After these guys return back on confirmation that Hrithik and Aishwarya's game was indeed over in Dhoom 2, the camera zooms to some distant planet where SRK sits on a throne that reads - "Call me King!" He looks into the eyes of the camera and beams - "The chase begins now".

Speculations will be made on whether the third part of Dhoom will involve chase in space ships once people get to see this cliamx scene in Dhoom 2 . Aditya Chopra, it is heard has approached George Lucas of the Star Wars fame to direct the third part. Let's keep hoping till then.

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