Confusions of an Over-analysing Mind

Generally a sane man's thinking process lies somewhere between two extremes - being too hasty while making decisions or being too cautious and analytical with every decision in life, be it about planning a career path or deciding on what to eat for dinner that night. I would count myself as being closer to the first extreme and maybe that's how Maa feels too. So she got me to wear a ring which supposedly keeps me cool and relaxed. That is expected to imply that I will no more make hasty decisions. Anyways, this is not about whether it really works or not.

This is about my meeting with someone 'anti-me' in terms of the thinking process. Someone who would study all the pros and cons of choosing between cabbaage and capsicums while doing grocery before making up his mind about buying both.

My friend Deendayal Upadhyay(name changed to keep identity secret) and I went grocery shopping and this is what followed at the store.

Event A
Time: 4:15 PM
Case scenario: Decision on whether to buy butter

Deendayal(DD): Should I buy unsalted butter or salted one?
Me: Better that you don't buy it. Its not even in a carton or something

DD: If I buy unsalted one then I'll have to add salt so there's no use. But do I buy this salted one or some better brand?
Me: They don't sell the Amul brand here. Better try out a US brand that's available at Stop & Shop.

Clock ticking..4:18 PM

DD: I think I will buy one.
Me: Thank God! Let's move on

Event B
Time: 4:20 PM
Case Scenario: Decision to buy cabbage or capsicum

DD: What should I buy, cabbage or capsicum?
Me: Take your time..think

DD: Cabbage is good and so is capsicum. I would have taken even brocholli but its way to costly for such small quantity.
Me: So you have narrowed down your sample space to two items, cabbage and capsicum..right?

Clock ticking..4:22 PM

DD: I think I will go ahead with buying capsicum
Me: That's the way to go about it man, go ahead and get it.

Clock still ticking..4:24 PM

DD: I have got the capsicum but I was thinking that buying cabbage will also do me no harm.
Me(thinking): Only if you ignore the fact that this cabbage potentially has the ability to jump out of your refrigerator in the night, go to your bedroom and strangulate you to death for choosing capsicum over it at the store.

Event C
Time: 4:28 PM

Me: Hey DD! Saleem Langda, Babu Chhapri and Babban Thakela(names changed again to hide identities) are waiting for us to go to the downtown. Rush, rush!
DD: Don't rush, I'll forget things that I need to buy.

Me: No problem when you are with me. I can help you with remembering the things that you might want to buy. Bread? Milk? Spices? Ghee?
DD: Yes, ghee!

Me: Dekha..main hoon na. Let's do it fast now. Take this 1 kg pack
DD: But which one do I take? There are two brands. I don't know which one is better. I also think that if I buy ghee then I won't need butter.

Me: Does that mean that I go and keep the butter again in the rack? Fast..fast..think, think
DD: Haste makes waste..but yes, you can keep it back.
(I go and keep the butter pack from where we picked it up and rush back to prod DD to move to the paying counter)

Clock ticking 4:31 PM

DD: I think I will not buy ghee now
Me: Why???

DD: Because it has higher level of cholesterol
Me: So, what would be the next action item? We go to the counter, pay for the rest of the stuff or something else?

DD: I think I will take the butter and leave ghee for the time being. You stand in the queue and I will get the butter.
Me: Oh sure!

Event D
Time: 4:33 PM

DD: I need to buy some biscuits
Me: Buy Parle-G. I remember buying a dog's biscuit pack one day in hurry only to realise it after opening the pack at home. Isn't that funny?

DD: That is why I tell you to be patient
Me: You go and get your biscuits mate..we are almost there in the billing counter queue.

DD: Now, these are a hell lot of types of biscuits. Which one do I choose?
Me: They are all same brand. Pick any.

DD: The question here is not 'what type'. The question here is 'how many'. There are at least 50 packs here. Now how many do I pick?
Me: DD, If you count your would be wife whom you are still to meet and your cute little imaginary Chunnu-Munnu type kids at home, you must buy 10 packs. If you think that you will have lot more chances of visiting a grocery store before your wife and kids come into your life then you can manage with maybe a couple of packs.

DD: I'll pick 2 packs of Pista badam flavor and another coconut cookie packet that I missed in some other shelf. I'll get those
Me: Run, run..we are next in turn at the billing counter.

Time: 4:45 PM

Me: Finally we are done with the shopping. Lets rush back home, tuck in our shirts, put some body spray and rush for the Path station
DD: You made such a rush that I forgot one item completely.

Me: What did you forget now?
DD: Yoghurt!

Me: But you stood at the milk, butter, curd shelf for almost 5 minutes. Didn't it occur to you then?
DD: That time I was thinking about buying milk and butter. Selecting a yoghurt pack needed a different analysis approach.

.. ..

Time: 5:20 PM

Me(thinking sitting alone in a bus, going over to the Path station): What if I get down on the road close to the path station rather than first going to the bus stand? Which one would be the shorter path? What use would reaching earlier be if the other three idiots don't reach there in time? So should I call them and ask if they have left or should I go by the time we set for meeting at the station? What if my watch is not showing the same time as theirs?

..Damn me! I am so very impressionable.