Smile is Just a Curve on the Face :)

“Hi! How are you doing?”
“I am fine, thank you. You are looking as fit as ever.”
“Oh, thank you.”

The most difficult part of my existence has been my failure to come to terms with the basic requirements of acting civilized and desirable by following etiquettes. Again, I will put the blame on my Dad who at times quivers when someone reaches out to do something as insignificant as touching his feet. He doesn’t exactly bless them and that has got nothing to do with him not willing to. It's just that he doesn't feel comfortable doing such things at times. As with most of the traits that I have inherited from him, I have imbibed this ‘anti-social’ trait from him. The outcome is obvious, I am considered snobbish by many.

I understand that it is really not done to act as if you care a damn when a he/she greets you in the day but what if the act stems from a deep rooted disorder that refuses to get cured despite being diagnosed? As I read what I have written, I sense the monologue is turning into an apology of sorts. So, let me change the course and give you reasons why people like me behave the way they do!

1.) I see you everyday and I don’t think this morning is different either!

As logical as we are, the first thing that strikes my mind when I see a face that I see every morning is a realization that nothing much has changed since yesterday. I really don’t think my wishing people a good morning is really going to change things in their lives that day. So, why give them a false hope? If something good really happens, a handshake or a hug awaits them!

2.) What if?

Call it lack of strength in my smile, but I sometimes shy away from flashing the illusive smile with a “Hello! Is it me you are looking for” look because of the fear that it might get overlooked. It is self assessment that has taught me that I am no Brad Pitt who gets all the attention wherever he goes. There is every chance that the person I smile to doesn’t even notice that. It is the fear that the evil within me would chuckle out aloud that keeps me in check and I end up feeling that I have saved myself from inflicting an injury to my ego.

3.) Wooden face expressions

I have been told that I have a good smile. But the countable number of people who have said that don’t know that the efforts spent in creating that illusion is equivalent to a full day’s work out at the gym! The moment I hear a “Hi”, “Hello”, “Good morning”, I get jittery. The time span between someone saying a Hi and expecting a reply is so short that I end up managing at most a straight face with a faint hint of smile. The other person walks past me thinking that I tried giving him a cold shoulder. For God’s sake, turn around and check it out dude, the smile did come out even though it was 20 seconds late. It is plainly because of my wooden facial expressions that I have forever imagined myself as someone born with a passport to hell glued on his face.

4.) Words are priceless and smile doesn’t come cheap either

I find it hard to fathom how people who indulge in bitching about each other behind each other’s backs, share pleasantries when they come face-to-face. I also don’t understand why I should wish someone if I really don’t mean it at all. Before you jump the guns, I am not saying that this is the reason why I don’t generally wish people. But yes, there are people whom I am not too comfortable with and I don’t make an attempt to kiss and make up. It is another matter that I sometimes end up learning a lesson or two about “growing up” when some ‘supposed’ adversary comes up and clears the air.

5.) I am like this

There are times when people who know me well come to tell me that I act stupid at times and I hear them out with patient ears. But at the end of it all I feel that it really doesn’t matter if people I don’t know think that I ride on wheels of snobbishness that doesn’t tread the path of righteous conduct.

When you see someone not smiling back at you every time you see him, remember this post. It is genuineness afterall that stays with you when you meet or see a person. There are people who might not veil their genuineness in a perpetual smile to make it look endearing but 10 times out of 100 (I use 100 instead of 10 because 1 out of 10 made it sound exclusive!!), they just happen to belong to the ‘misfit’ class!