Monday, March 19, 2007

Munua Ko Mania Hui Gawa!

Never indulge in excesses - the 'good' value that we imbibe right from our childhood days comes to play spoilsport once again. India crash to an abysmal low against Bangladesh and have their world cup super campaign in the Hu Ha India, Aa ya India style in dire straits. It was more than expected with several back to back wins in the run up to the world cup which meant that it was about time we started losing some. Rahul Dravid seemed to be aware of this fear in his post warm match press conference against Holland.

Anyways, winning and losing is a part and parcel of the game but what shames me is the fact that in a cricket crazy nation of over a billion people - 'The Blue Billion!', we still have to manage with an ever failing Sehwag (Dravid's match winner who hasn't scored a 100 in almost 2 years now), an erratic Agarkar (the only consistency that he has maintained is in giving away runs at over 5 in 180 matches or so that he has played) and a spinning strike bowler in Bhajji who somehow can't get a breakthrough on a pitch where opposition spinners scalp 6 and the part timer Sehwag foxes 2 set batsmen.

So much for the loss. I know that the setback is temporary. India has always been a slow starter and they still haev a marginal chance of bouncing back if Bangladesh doesn't perform the way it did against India. Even if they return back empty handed, the disappointment will soon vaporize when they win a home series sometime later this year and then the happy days will return again. Cricketers will emerge from the shadow of their share of bad times, some will be out of the team and some will be all over the place once again - selling biscuits, insurance policies, ramp walking, signing endorsements and the junta adoring them.

The only thing that remains constant in all this roller coaster ride of the Indian cricket team and the hysteria that surrounds it is the soaring TRP rating that the news channels enjoy. They build up curiosity, grant these cricketers God status - "Sachin is God, he thinks like no other man can!", disucss the hairstyle of Dhoni in detail and follow the trails of Yuvraj Singh's love life and then with the first smell of blood (when India loses) come down hard at them, incense the public and make merry by seeing their TRPs soar. I don't say that they don't have a right to do so but boy, why don' they have the guts to accept that Indian media houses are no better than the paparazzis who make their living by producing rotten information and term it as the voice of India?

Just as the Indian team crashes to an embarassing defeat, a slew of programs aimed at providing a platform to the junta to vent its ire are aired on all leading news channels.

Reporter: To aap bataiye, aaj ka mujrim kaun? Sachin, Saurav ya Dravid?
Panelist1(a yesteryear, lost into oblivion cricketer under whose captaincy India couldn't defend 160 odd runs in the last 25 overs of a test match): Captaincy badi kamzor rahi. Itna score to aaram se defend kar lena chahiye tha.

Reporter: Ab hum junta se poochte hain, junta ki awaz kya kehti hai.
Trivediji: Ye jo Zimbombay sa aaj haare hain match isse behtar to hamare mohalle ke ladke khel lete hain

Reporter: To kya aap keh rahe hain ki Indian team ke saare khiladion ko nikal dena chahiye? Trivediji(thinking if he ever meant that, but gives in to the staring camera): Haan, sir!

Reporter: Kya in cricketers se saare endorsement chheenkar inki salary ke paise kaat lene chahiye Board ko?
Ram Charan (not understanding half of the question asked): Haan aisa hi kuch hona chahiye.

Reporter: Ab aap bataiye, kya Indian team ko wapas nahi bula lena chahiye?
Shuklaji(who couldn't think of any other line to blurt): Haan bula lena chahiye.

Reporter(summarizing): Yahan junta ka manNa hai ki Indian team ko wapas bulake, saare khiladion ki salary kaat ke inhe team se nikal dena chahiye. Aap apni rai humein SMS karein aur 3 lucky winners ko milega World cup final dekhne ka mauka.

In a country of over 1 billion people where Cricket is almost a religion, these pseudo news channels survive because they can't be arrested for flaring public sentiments in the veil of voicing public opinion (most of which is thrust onto the general public). Sure the team has lost and it’s not a new story. The best way to punish these cricketers is just to let them be. Let them lick their wounds and get back if they pride themselves on wearing the color blue. If they can't, then let them wither away into oblivion. The game is sure not about winning and losing, it’s about winning with pride and going down fighting in a losing cause. If the men in blue couldn’t do anything about the sentiments back home, let’s care less and take a break.

Enough of outpouring on the wasted Saturday night and setbacks to the plans of watching India put up a good show at the WC 2007. Its Maggi time now and I am about to try the - Munua ko Mania hui gawa flavor primarily because no cricketer endorses it ;)

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