The Jaan-e-mann Tragedy

All the world's a stage and most of my acts are poor imitations of the comical antics of Govinda in his hey days(read Rajaji, Wah Tera Kya Kehna days) given the most strange situations I keep falling into.

I remember an episode from the TV series friends where Chandler tells Ross that he saw the face of his mother while he made love to his girl friend and then it ruined the fun for Ross. So whenever he was all set for the act, Chandler's words came to disturb him and then he couldn't help seeing his mother's face in the girl he was about to get naughty with. Well I am not referring to any symptom of Oedipus complex but something of the 'ruining of the fun' did happen with me last Saturday.

After all these years of remaining single, I never mind watching movies with college friends. But things have changed now. With a few setting their marriage dates, some getting committed for fun and some on a more serious note, the breed of singles like me has neared extinction. Articles discussing the pros and cons of being single and supposedly friendless (by friend the article essentially meant someone of the opposite sex with whom you won't mind cosying up on the couch) folks appearing in the newspaper started making me feel more insecure.

I decided to go out and watch a movie to escape the tension. I generally prefer hanging out with a gang, having a good lunch and then watching a movie but with just Ankush around in Delhi, I asked him to book the tickets. We decided to go for 'Don' despite it having got a total 'no-no' from most of my amateur film critic friends because two guys can only watch a thriller or an action film together, they don't have a choice. But we couldn't manage to get the tickets. The next best option was another new release - Jaan-e-mann. Little did we realise that the movie was going to be a self inflicted embarassment for both of us. The fun was first killed by the Chandler like act by an old aquaintaince who sprang up from no where only to speak the golden words and then disappear - "You going to watch a romantic film with another guy? What's wrong with you?"

All my enthusiasm of watching a hindi film in a theatre after almost 4 months vanished and I started looking for excuses for not going. Earlier watching a film with another guy never made me conscious, but the Chandler of my life started bugging me every moment now - "You going to watch a romantic film with another guy? What's wrong with you?"

The fifteen minute wait at the theatre lounge was one of the longest. The canoodling couple in the corner made me more aware of the wrong choice of film. There was a gang of 4 college going boys as well that made us feel relaxed as we were not the only two heterosexual guys who had erred in making a correct choice of film that day. But embarassment still awaited us. When the gates opened for entry, we were asked to make entry through another door as we had bought the tickets to the Premier lounge and not the general class.

Just as we entered the premier class, all heads turned as if in disgust. There were around 30 seats and 14 couples seated. All eyes seemed to ask the same question - "Hello! what are both of guys doing here in the unofficial love-lounge?"

Ankush put his arm around my shoulders to whisper - "Ye to love-bird park aa gaye, ab kya karein?"

"Pehle to haath hata kandhe se" - I told him as I shirked away but the damage was already done.

We made our way to the seats and stayed glued for the next 3 hours. Chandler appeared again wearing a halo over his head and this time he was not alone. I could see everyone seated around me accompanying him and pointing fingers at me while crying out aloud - "You watched a romantic film with another guy. There sure is something wrong with you."

Male bonding seems to have got another meaning these days. What do the singles do now?

"Go and watch Don, its just the people like YOU who have kept it running despite it being totally non-sense!" - a frustrated film critic reviewing box office collections bellows on a TV program.

Do we really have a choice, I wanted to ask.